The Billboard Song

"Let's sing The Billboard Song!"

Okay, campers. Gather ‘round the campfire. Let’s sing The Billboard Song! You know, that a clever, little folk song that's been sung around campfires for generations. Ready? Here we go!

As I was walking down the street a billboard met my eye.
The advertisements listed there would make you laugh and cry.
The wind and rain the night before had washed them half away,
The other half remaining there would make the billboard say:

Oh, smoke a Coca-Cola, tomato catsup - Wrigley’s - dog food - Lillian - Osterettes - Lipton’s - finish Chauncey Frigi…

Stop, Stop, Stop!  Hmmm...what’s going on?

For over a century, The Billboard Song has been passed down orally from one generation to the next at hundreds (if not thousands) of summer camps, church camps, and Scout camps. As a result, there are many, many versions of the song. Like any folk song, there is no definitive version- and I’ll venture to guess that the only version that matters to you is the one you know. Nonetheless, I thought I'd peel back the years to see what that billboard might have said when the song was new around the turn of the 20th century.

First, let’s take a look at the tune. Like the lyrics, there are many versions but basically they’re all some variation of the music below.

Next, let’s make a stop in the 1950’s when a country duo called Homer & Jethro (Henry D. Haynes and Kenneth C. Burns) released a recording of The Billboard Song with new lyrics. Their version is a cavalcade of products right out of 1950’s television advertising. After the verse about "walking down the street", the song goes:

Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes. Drink Wrigley's Spearmint beer.
Ken-L-Ration dog food keeps your wife's complexion clear.
Chew chocolate-covered mothballs -- they always satisfy.
Brush your teeth with Lifebuoy soap and watch the suds go by.

Take your next vacation in a brand-new Frigidaire.
Learn to play piano in your winter underwear.
Simonize your baby with a Hershey's candy bar.
Texaco’s a beauty cream that’s used by all the stars!

Doctors prove that babies shouldn't smoke 'til they are three.
People over 35, take baths in Lipton Tea.
Oh, you can make this country a better place today --
Just buy a record of this song and throw it far away!

Chances are this is the version you know if you learned The Billboard Song after 1960. YouTube has several videos of people singing this version of the song (including one claiming his brother wrote it around 1976.) There aren’t a lot of variations on the Homer & Jethro version probably because a) this version was recorded and is still available today, and b) the product references still hold up as most of them are still around. But like freeway construction bulldozing through old neighborhoods, Homer & Jethro’s Billboard Song supplanted a much older and more interesting version of the song.

I combed the Internet and several libraries looking for the old, pre-Homer & Jethro version of the song. My research uncovered dozens of variations. The oldest sources I found were the Indiana University Song Book (1921) and the Camp Cavell and Girl Reserve Club Songs (1923). Unfortunately, there are so many versions, it is impossible to include them all here. Instead, here is a consensus version of The Billboard Song using the most common parts of each line.

Smoke a Coca-cola. Tomato catsup cigarettes.
See Lillian Russell wrestle with box of oysterettes.
The pork and beans will meet tonight for a finish fight.
Chauncey Depew will speak upon Sapolio tonight.

Bay rum is good for horses! We have the best in town.
Castoria cures the measles if you pay five dollars down.
Teeth extracted without pain for the cost of half a dime.
Overcoats are selling now a little out of time.

If you (or your mother or your grandmother) learned The Billboard Song in the 20’s, 30’s, 40’s or 50’s, you probably recognize this version. What a strange bunch of references! What are these products and who are these people? Let’s deconstruct it. I’ll also comment on alternative references I found.

Smoke a Coca-cola. Tomato catsup cigarettes.
Not much to discuss here. Coca-cola is still current. The second half of the line has several variants including ‘Heinz Catsup cigarettes’, ‘Drink Catsup cigarettes’, and ‘Drink Camel cigarettes’.

Lillian Russell

See Lillian Russell wrestle with box of oysterettes.
Lillian Russell was a famous actress and singer of opera and musical theatre during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Oysterettes was a brand of oyster cracker that first appeared in the early 20th century. A variant in this line has Lillian Russell wrestling a box of Castorets, a chocolate-flavored laxative tablet. I found a few others doing the wrestling, including Shirley Temple, child star of the 1930’s, and Lydia Pinkham, whose face graced her “women’s tonic” in the late 19th century.  Actually, Lydia Pinkham's name would be far more likely to appear on a billboard than Lillian Russell's.

The pork and beans will meet tonight for a finish fight.
A ‘finish fight’ was a boxing match that continued until one of the boxers was knocked out. I’ve seen many variations in the center of the line including ‘are out tonight’, and ‘will meet, all right’, and sometimes it’s a ‘finished fight’, which is just plain wrong. Every version I found had Pork and Beans as the combatants.

Chauncey Depew

Chauncey Depew will speak upon Sapolio tonight.
Alex Gordon’s analysis of the song calls this the 'money line'. Chauncey Depew was a railroad lawyer, the president of the New York Central Railroad, and a U.S. Senator from New York from 1899 to 1911. He was a noted orator of his day, speaking at such lofty occasions as the unveiling of the Statue of Liberty in 1886 and the dedication of Chicago’s Columbian Exposition in 1892. It is doubtful that he ever spoke on Sapolio, a popular soap brand. As campers’ awareness of Depew faded, others have given the speech including Philip Gibbs, Baby Ruth, and Silent Joe.

Bay rum is good for horses! We have the best in town.
Bay Rum is a cologne and aftershave originally distilled from West Indian Bay Tree berries. Its high-alcohol content made it a drinking alternative during prohibition. However, in a very early version of the song, Peruna’s good for horses. Peruna was a high-alcohol content wonder tonic said to cure catarrh, a variety of conditions involving inflamed mucous membranes.

Probably not good for horses

Castoria cures the measles if you pay five dollars down.
Castoria is another laxative for children, this time in syrup form.  Cascara kills the measles is another variation.

Teeth extracted without pain for the cost of half a dime.
The only variation I found to this line was the addition of the word ‘False’ before teeth. I doubt teeth were ever extracted without pain when the song was new.

Overcoats are selling now a little out of time.

A typical early ad
 for Ingersoll watches

The items being sold are overcoats in most versions of the song. As a result, “a little out of time” makes no sense at all. Occasionally, the line was altered to “a little at a time”, “a little after nine”, etc., but that doesn’t help much. Alex Gordon found this ending a disappointing letdown. I agree.  The real problem is the overcoats. Digging a little deeper, I found that “overcoats” replaced Ingersolls, a brand of watches, somewhere along the way. “Ingersolls are selling a little out of time” makes more sense and is kind of funny! It's even better when you consider that, verbally, it's a pun since 'at a time' and 'outta time' sound similar.  Is that a better ending? No? Well, hang on.

I found another verse in the Camp Cavell songbook. This verse may not be original and apparently didn’t make it into the oral history but I include it here because captures the original spirit of the song.

Bon Ami's good for freckles. It doesn't cost a cent;
Jello makes the window's shine, Hair is dyed or lent.
Cream of Wheat will cure that corn. Tiz will make you fat;
Come and pour molasses on that old last summer's hat.

Bon Ami is still a popular cleanser although its baby chick logo with the slogan “Hasn’t scratched yet” goes back to the late 19th century.  Let’s hear it for the staying power of J-E-L-L-O! I don’t know what to make of that hair reference.  Cream of Wheat cereal made its debut at the Columbian Exposition in 1893. Maybe Chauncey Depew got to try some. Tiz is a foot remedy from the turn of the century.  I love the imagery of pouring molasses on that old hat.  That’s what I call a proper ending to this wonderful old song!

Watch out! Tiz will make you fat!

I’m afraid the origin of The Billboard Song is lost in time. I asked Dr. Demento, an authority on novelty songs, if he knew where it came from. He wrote “it might have started on live radio, or in a movie, or perhaps some ephemeral printed source, before oral tradition took over.” Judging from the age of the references, it could even be a late 19th century drinking song, particularly given the repeated references to alcohol-laden tonics. Or maybe it originated around a campfire. Who knows?

In closing, here’s my best guess for the original version of The Billboard Song.

As I was walking down the street a billboard met my eye.
The advertisements listed there would make you laugh and cry.
The wind and rain the night before had washed them half away,
The other half remaining there would make the billboard say:

Smoke a Coca-cola. Tomato catsup cigarettes.
See Lydia Pinkham wrestle with box of Castorets.
The pork and beans will meet tonight for a finish fight.
Chauncey Depew will speak upon Sapolio tonight.

Peruna’s good for horses! We have the best in town.
Castoria cures the measles if you pay five dollars down.
Teeth extracted without pain for the cost of half a dime.
Ingersolls are selling now a little out of time.

Bon Ami's good for freckles. It doesn't cost a cent;
Jello makes the window's shine, Hair is dyed or lent.
Cream of Wheat will cure that corn. Tiz will make you fat;
Come and pour molasses on that old last summer's hat.


Pankake, Marcia and Jon. A Prairie Home Companion Folk Song Book. Viking, New York, NY 1988.
The Indiana University Song Book, Womens Self Government Association, Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana, 1921.
Camp Cavell and Girl Reserve Club Songs. Detroit, MI 1923.
Advertising Agency and Advertising & Selling, Volume 47, Issues 2-34. Moore Publishing Co., 1954.
http://www.ookingdom.com/laughs/billboard
Alex Gordon, Laugh and Cry, Camp Nebagamon Alumni Association Newsletter, Fall 2014, No. 50. http://www.campnebagamon.com/keylog_fall2014/index.htm
http://www.cowboylyrics.com/tabs/homer-and-jethro/the-billboard-song-5448.html